~My favorite animal is steak.
~In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
~Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.
~All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
~There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.